Some days at work are easier than others. This was not one of those days. It was emotional. But, I witnessed an amazing thing!
One of our last patients this evening is a single mom that has recently been told that her son (who is in his young 20’s) has about 30 days to live. You see, the brain tumor is inoperable. She has tried to take her life twice since receiving this news. When I first spoke with her, about a month ago, she was depressed and well, devastated. Unable to even go through the motions of the day, it was just too much to bear. I cannot imagine.
Fast forward a few weeks, she calls and I cannot believe she is the same person. As we began to talk, I asked her how things were going. She shared with me how God “showed up at church yesterday” – speaking tenderly to her heart in a way that only God can. Wow!
Today, when she came in for her appointment….I once again asked her about her son…how were things going? She told me that he was falling a lot – which is common at this stage – and that he had been given a cane, walker, etc. to help him get around a little better. He lives with his dad, so she does not get to see him as much as she would like….which, to me, is the hardest part. Having a son who is only a few years younger than her son, I cannot imagine doing anything but spending every waking (and sleeping) hour next to my son – soaking up every moment that I had left with him on this earth!
After I got her all “checked in” she went to sit in the waiting area. A few minutes passed and I begin to hear someone singing along with the radio (we have KSBJ playing in our office). It was this mom….singing along to the song “Never Alone” by the Barlow Girls (see the lyrics of this song below). As I watched her sing the words to this song, tears began to pour from my eyes. I was trying to imagine, for just a moment, how this mom must feel. How is it that she was not constantly in tears, begging God not to take her child from her so soon? How is it that she can stand not being with her son 24/7 – during the last days of his life? How could she sit there, so calmly, singing the words to this song? But, she did. She sang the words to that song – straight from her heart. Her broken heart. It seems almost unimaginable.
I have learned that while we can always be certain of who God is…..the journey he takes us on is often filled with uncertantity. What I saw today was a mom who is certain of who God is….in spite of the situation and heartache she finds herself facing…..God is still God. Period.
NEVER ALONE
One of our last patients this evening is a single mom that has recently been told that her son (who is in his young 20’s) has about 30 days to live. You see, the brain tumor is inoperable. She has tried to take her life twice since receiving this news. When I first spoke with her, about a month ago, she was depressed and well, devastated. Unable to even go through the motions of the day, it was just too much to bear. I cannot imagine.
Fast forward a few weeks, she calls and I cannot believe she is the same person. As we began to talk, I asked her how things were going. She shared with me how God “showed up at church yesterday” – speaking tenderly to her heart in a way that only God can. Wow!
Today, when she came in for her appointment….I once again asked her about her son…how were things going? She told me that he was falling a lot – which is common at this stage – and that he had been given a cane, walker, etc. to help him get around a little better. He lives with his dad, so she does not get to see him as much as she would like….which, to me, is the hardest part. Having a son who is only a few years younger than her son, I cannot imagine doing anything but spending every waking (and sleeping) hour next to my son – soaking up every moment that I had left with him on this earth!
After I got her all “checked in” she went to sit in the waiting area. A few minutes passed and I begin to hear someone singing along with the radio (we have KSBJ playing in our office). It was this mom….singing along to the song “Never Alone” by the Barlow Girls (see the lyrics of this song below). As I watched her sing the words to this song, tears began to pour from my eyes. I was trying to imagine, for just a moment, how this mom must feel. How is it that she was not constantly in tears, begging God not to take her child from her so soon? How is it that she can stand not being with her son 24/7 – during the last days of his life? How could she sit there, so calmly, singing the words to this song? But, she did. She sang the words to that song – straight from her heart. Her broken heart. It seems almost unimaginable.
I have learned that while we can always be certain of who God is…..the journey he takes us on is often filled with uncertantity. What I saw today was a mom who is certain of who God is….in spite of the situation and heartache she finds herself facing…..God is still God. Period.
NEVER ALONE
I waited for you today
But you didn't show
No no
I needed you today
But where did you go
You told me to call
Said you'd be there
And though I haven't seen you
Are you still there?
I cried out with no reply
And I can't feel you by my side
So I'll hold tight to what I know
You're here and I'm never alone.
And though I cannot see you
And I can't explain why
Such a deep reassurance
You've placed in my life
We cannot separate
Cause you're part of me
And though you're invisible
I'll trust the unseen.
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